The conflict of the 21st century gentleman

In times past, well-bred men were trained to pay attention to how they dressed, groomed, and conducted themselves courteously. These men were as comfortable in formal situations as they were on the battlefield. For these men, being a gentleman did not make them less of a man, but more of one. What we see these days on the contrary, men are hailed for being slobs, cocky, Vulgar in speech and so on. with the changes in our society it has become so unexpected to see a true gentleman. Men are in conflict with how to behave; previously they were told to be a man, men don’t show weakness. Now they are told that it’s alright to be vulnerable, it is alright to show feelings. What then is the true standard of a gentleman? Could they be ruggedly manly and yet gentlemen? Or are these ideas two separate concepts?

Misconceptions of the gentleman

Being gentlemanly is weak. Strange how some people think that gentlemen are wimps!

Being gentlemanly is stuffy or awkward. Being gentlemanly should come off as entirely natural with practice.

Being gentlemanly does not seek attention for themselves. 

Being gentlemanly is being judgmental. You can't go around correcting behavior because you practice good etiquette and conduct.

Courtesy is as much a gentleman as courage
— Theodore Roosevelt

Who is the Gentleman?

The gentleman is the courteous honorable man. Being gentlemanly goes beyond opening the chair for a lady, protecting the lady and all of that. It is about treating yourself and people with respect; making people comfortable in your presence. If politeness is but a mask, as many philosophers would say, it is a mask which will win love and admiration from friends, spouses, colleagues and everyone you come in contact with.

You can be respectful and courteous while being the head of an organization, home, team or whatever institution you find yourself.

A gentleman makes enjoyable company, a welcome party guest, a referable contact or a trusted employee. A gentleman is characterized by self-respect and self-control: qualities that apply to all areas of life.

Being gentlemanly gives you confidence. Knowing what to do and how to behave in every situation makes for a confident man

Being gentlemanly makes a positive impression on others. A gentleman makes enjoyable company everywhere

Being gentlemanly makes you develop better relationships and minimize awkward situations

Being gentlemanly make other people feel comfortable

Being gentlemanly is ultimately about showing respect for others- the golden rule to treat others as you would like to be treated still applies.

Anyone can learn how to be gentlemanly no matter the age. The pursuit of being a gentleman is a lifelong journey, but it is one that is absolutely worth the effort.

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